Contact Us

12 Signs You’re Cursed

Atlanta Falcons v Detroit Lions calvin johnson nfl football madden 13
Gregory Shamus, Getty Images

The sports world is full of curses, but none is more feared and revered than “the Madden curse.” And, no, it’s not the kind of cursing that John Madden heads on you when you jump ahead of him in an all-you-cat-eat chili line.

We mean the curse that has been applied to NFL players who appear on the cover of the massively popular EA Sports football video game series. This time, Detroit Lions’ star wide receiver Calvin Johnson will grace the cover of ‘Madden NFL 13’ and every fan Detroit has ever had is in a panic. Frankly, this is just one measly symptom of a full-blown curse. If any of these other symptoms show up on Johnson’s case file, then they should start worrying:

1. You once crossed the path of a black cat over a broken mirror on a cracked sidewalk in King Tut’s tomb.

2. The TV weatherman’s forecast calls for a 100 percent chance of rain about five feet above your head, even indoors.

3. Your ex-wife is a demon in the non-redundant sense.

4. You were the 13th baby born on Jan. 3, 1913 at 1300 hours on the 13th floor at Our Lady of the Holy 13 Hospital.

5. For years, you played for the Red Sox and the season before they won the World Series, you left to play for the Cubs.

6. You crossed “punting a leprechaun” off of your bucket list.

7. Your wife asks you to bring home a live chicken for dinner, even though you’re having fish.

8. You possess the Necronomicon and it’s currently being used to replace one of the missing legs on your couch.

9. You turned King Tut’s sarcophagus into a coffee table.

10. The ‘Evil Dead’ trilogy was based on your life story.

11. When you look back at your family tree, you realize one of your ancestors died on the Titanic, another was on the Hindenburg and you drive a Toyota.

12. You live in a subdivision that guarantees every home has been built on the remains of an Indian burial ground or your money back.

More From Q92

Best of the Web

It appears that you already have an account created within our VIP network of sites on . To keep your points and personal information safe, we need to verify that it's really you. To activate your account, please confirm your password. When you have confirmed your password, you will be able to log in through Facebook on both sites.

Forgot your password?

*Please note that your points, prizes and activities will not be shared between programs within our VIP network.

It appears that you already have an account on this site associated with . To connect your existing account with your Facebook account, just click on the account activation button below. You will maintain your existing profile and VIP program points. After you do this, you will be able to always log in to http://kqvt.com using your Facebook account.

*Please note that your points, prizes and activities will not be shared between programs within our VIP network.

Please fill out the information below to help us provide you a better experience.

Register on Q92: Victoria's Best Music Station quickly by logging in with your Facebook account. It's just as secure, and no password to remember!

Not a Member? Sign Up Here

Register on Q92: Victoria's Best Music Station quickly by logging in with your Facebook account. It's just as secure, and no password to remember!