The deadline to pay for your taxes is just a couple of weeks away and if that’s a surprise to you, perhaps you should stop reading now and start looking in the phone book for an accountant who owns a calendar (or at least gives you a free one when you pay him).
Easter features some of the tastiest treats of all times like Cadbury Creme Eggs and Heavenly Hash. (But not Mini Eggs. Whoever invented those chalky chocolate tablets clearly didn’t get Easter candy as a kid and is trying to punish the rest of us.)
Marshmallow Peeps may also be a traditional Easter candy, but they are still good on every other day on the calendar.
Professional cycling really don’t impress us much. These guys have been chemically and physically engineered from birth to become pedal monsters and ride biked made by NASA engineers that could withstand the wind resistance produced by a nuclear holocaust.
They might seem cute, fuzzy and fake in the eyes of someone with a college education and an unpaid mortgage, but Easter terrors are clearly harboring some kind of evil that only children can smell. The blog, Sketchy Bunnies, has been compiling the worst wabbits ever to grace the pages of a family’s photo album. These are the sketchiest of the sketchy.
Summer is just around the corner and that means millions of people will flock to Orlando, Fla. to spend their free time, money and children’s formative years at one of the most sought after and beloved tourist destinations in the country.
Videos of kid athletes achieving new heights and breaking tough records always give us a welcome kick in the head. That’s because we know they are too young for human growth hormones and they have their whole life ahead of them to risk their talent and honor for money and fame.
Whether you’re a devout church-goer or just someone who enjoys hunting for eggs way too much, there is one Easter tradition that can bring all of humanity together: Marshmallow Peeps. These colorful blobs of gooey, cute deliciousness have stolen the hearts and minds of every future diabetic.
Every year on April 1st, office water coolers are spiked with white wine and computer mouses are glued to desks. Every year on college campuses, half empty buckets of water are placed on the top of dorm room doors and passed out bros are covered with marker ink. And throughout the world, the sound of chuckling and cackling can be heard echoing across its borders.
April Fool’s Day is just around the corner and that means rubes all over the world are bound to have their toilet seats super glued, their coffee spiked with garlic and their lives turned into someone else’s entertainment.
It’s no secret that America has a weight problem. We love food too much and exercise too little. A life like that doesn’t have many healthy side effects, affordable health care or pants that don’t create muffin tops.
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