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Jessica Sager

Jess Sager will sleep when she's dead. When she's not writing and editing for Popcrush, she's jotting down ideas for Life2PointOh, insulting celebrities for I Don’t Like You In That Way, correcting spelling and interviewing musicians for Planet Verge, taking care of Cash Cash for Audio Crush PR, performing stand up comedy, tweeting and texting as "Future Lucy" for Dating Rules from My Future Self, flexing, or writing bios in the third person. Jess loves baking, butter, the New York Jets, heights, and anything with an engine. She finds vegetables and flat shoes particularly offensive. Jess graduated with honors and a B.A. in journalism and media studies from Rutgers University, because at the time it seemed more lucrative than studying to be a ninja. She's currently reevaluating her life decisions and patiently waiting for Gerard Butler to lift that pesky restraining order.
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Matthew McConaughey + Camila Alves Welcome Unfairly Attractive Third Child

Apparently Matthew McConaughey has a motto besides "Just Keep Livin'" -- "Just Keep Making Disgustingly Gorgeous Babies To Repopulate The Planet." The actor-slash-nude bongo enthusiast and his model wife Camila Alves are now proud parents for a third time.

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Taylor Swift
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Taylor Swift Writes About Her Exes Because of Like, Feelings and Stuff

Taylor Swift finally admitted the real reason she writes so many songs about her exes: She has feelings, and those feeling must be expressed or ... or ... well, we don't know what, but it would likely involve an explosion of doilies and candy and sparkles.

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Ashton Kutcher Demi Moore
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Ashton Kutcher + Demi Moore Delayed Divorcing Because of Money Since Neither Has Much Dignity

Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore don't do much of anything, and whenever they do it's usually not worth watching. Still, for whatever reason (in Moore's case, that reason is actually "Bruce Willis"), they're both loaded. That cash may be why they stalled on splitting officially in the eyes of the court.

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Foster the People
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Foster the People’s ‘Pumped Up Kicks’ Also Pulled From Radio Stations Following Newtown, Connecticut School Shooting

Foster the People's biggest hit to date is taking a hit in terms of radio airplay. Though 'Pumped Up Kicks' is almost two years old, the debut single from the Los Angeles-based band still had some residual airplay on Top 40 stations. However, it's dwindling much faster following the Newtown, C.T. school shooting on Dec. 16.

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Joe Simpson Jessica Simpson
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Of Course Papa Joe Made Himself Sole Beneficiary of Jessica Simpson’s Life Insurance Policy

It's not easy to be Jessica Simpson: Sure, she's wealthy and gorgeous, but she has an underemployed groom-to-be, a Weight Watchers contract that's not going to work out so well and no real grasp of how the reproductive system works.

Now she also has a dad who's really hungry for her cash, to the point of potentially depriving it from her fiance and baby.

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