Jessica Sager

Despite attorney Mark Heller's best efforts, Lindsay Lohan refuses to accept a plea bargain in that case where she supposedly lied to the cops. This will end well.

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Upon learning that he was hosting the 2013 Oscars, Seth MacFarlane claims his reaction was simple: "It's an honor that everyone else said no."

MacFarlane mocked the pomp and circumstance of the Oscars, but he still showed the Academy Awards grace and respect. Though this was not one of the Comedy Central roasts that the 'Family Guy' creator was used to, he still killed it.

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Lindsay Lohan continues her losing streak: a lawsuit, half of a gown and even more of the fumes that were once her self-respect. Surprise!

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Because getting to wear free gowns and jewelry and earn zillions of dollars isn't quite enough for Hollywood's elite, many go to the Oscars just for the swag.

And for the 2013 Oscars, that swag includes a copy of Leeza Gibbons' book. Bet you're totes jelly!

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Clearly not realizing she can do a lot better, Mila Kunis somehow agreed to move in with Ashton Kutcher.

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Jessica Biel is one of the most gorgeous women on the planet, but if there's one thing we now know she can't do, it's dance.

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While we were still waiting for Selena Gomez to take Justin Bieber back in an effort to make 'Spring Breakers' look less damning and herself seem more relevant, he went and moved right along.

This time, it's not a hot mess reality starlet, but a stunning British beauty.

Looks like Gomez will have to keep getting drunk for publicity now.

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While it's debatable whether Lindsay Lohan gets her endless, (fist) in-your-face energy from energy drinks or something else, she's more than happy to help sell them. For, you know, half a million dollars.

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Seems Clive Davis is a lot pickier with his ears than he is with his penis. The legendary music exec, who has a memoir ('The Soundtrack of My Life') to promote, revealed that he's bisexual to Katie Couric, whom we're pretty sure was the only person asking. Ever.

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Remember when Forest Whitaker was accused of shoplifting from a New York City deli? (Dude, what exactly did they think the guy was pilfering?) And then stopped and frisked for it?

While it'd be really easy to assume it was at least somewhat racially motivated, the deli insists the employee at fault isn't a bigot -- just, you know, misguided.

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Everyone worried that Britney Spears would have a meltdown when her fiance Jason Trawick broke up with her, but come on. It's Britney, bitch -- and she's already moved on.

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Following her tragic death from a self-inflicted gunshot, Mindy McCready became the fifth alum of 'Celebrity Rehab' -- which later had a name change to 'Rehab With Dr. Drew' -- to die in an untimely manner since appearing on the show.

Obviously, this doesn't make Dr. Drew Pinsky look too good.

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