Mmm, Human Empanadas!
We apologize in advance for ruining your next visit to that awesome Mexican place down the street. If you haven’t already vomited, cover your screen in plastic tarp and plow forward.
Three people in Brazil killed and ate at least three women as a ritual of their religious sect. The cannibals, who have confessed to the crime, say that a voice told them to kill evil women.
One of the murderers, Jorge Beltrao Negromonte da Silveira, wrote a book called, ‘Revelations of a Schizophrenic’. In it, he details the murder of Jessica, a 17-year-old killed in 2008. As if that weren’t enough Jessica’s 5 year old daughter was rumored to be living with Jorge and the two other murderers – his wife Isabel Cristina Oliveira da Silva and mistress Bruna Cristina Oliveira da Silva. Yeah, so the wife and mistress are related. Of course. Wouldn’t have it any other way.
So, they’re supposed to kill evil women, but how in the holy hell are they defining ‘evil’? We’re pretty sure, killing and eating people with your wife and your wife’s sister whom you’re also boning is just about as evil as it gets. We’re not familiar with the sect’s rules, but isn’t this dude supposed to to then murder and munch on his wife and sister-mistress?
To top it all off, they stuffed empanadas with the excess human meat and sold them to neighbors who ate them not knowing they were consuming human.
If we had to suggest a way to punish these monsters, it would probably closely mimic Elijah Wood’s death scene in Sin City or that one scene in Law Abiding Citizen in which Gerard Butler gets medieval on that one guy in the barn.
Brazil might have smoking hot women, but that place is just way too scary to ever visit.