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Dumb Criminals

Dumb Criminals

Denny's/Consumerist
Denny's/Consumerist
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Man Pays for Denny’s Breakfast With Sack of Marijuana

Sometimes when you’ve got a terrible case of the “munchies,” but not a lot of money in your pocket, you just can’t be stopped from doing something pretty rash. The body needs nourishment, after all, and you don’t want to walk around with a growling stomach all night. You’ve got to eat.

A gentleman from Niagara Falls, NY, was faced with just such a dilemma due to his snack cravings. He wanted some food, but apparently didn’t have enough cash to pay for his meal.

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Getty Images
Getty Images
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Cop Busted For Illegal Body Searches — Wait Until You Read His Name

Shakespeare once posed the question, “What’s in a name?” Apparently, your name can say a lot about you. Take, for example, Milwaukee, WI police officer Michael Vagnini whose badge was recently taken from him for conducting illegal body cavity searches on detainees. Coincidence, or inevitability?

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Mario Tama, Getty Images
Mario Tama, Getty Images
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You’re Never Going to Stomach What This Maid Added to Her Boss’s Coffee

The golden rule when dealing with service workers is to be kind, especially to those that handle your food. You never know what they’ll add as “secret sauce.”

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Facebook
Facebook
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Woman Arrested After Naked Stroll Through Lumber Store

Let’s say you’re at your local lumber yard, buying wood for some sort of home improvement project. You’re feeling like quite a man, because you’re about to do some work with your hands. In walks a woman, completely nude. Bonus, right? Maybe not so much.

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MSNBC
MSNBC
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Drunk Dad Lets 10-Year-Old Son Drive

A tipsy pop is in hot water after reportedly allowing his 10-year-old son to act as his designated driver. (Yes, you read that right.) Even worse, we’ve seen this sort of  thing before.

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YouTube
YouTube
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Three Men Steal Penguin ‘Hangover’-Style During Night of Drunken Hijinks

Three Welsh tourists in Australia had themselves quite a night last Saturday, which ended with a scenario fans of the movie ‘The Hangover’ will certainly recognize . After consuming a few too many adult beverages, the trio broke into the local Sea World and swam with the dolphins. The revelers claim things get hazy after that.  So when they woke the next morning and a seven-year old fairy penguin named Dirk was in their room they say they had no idea how he got there.

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toilet
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The Most Amazing Bathroom Peeper Yet Spies via iPhone

From the technology crime bureau comes an unsettling report of an enterprising gentleman in Albany, NY who tried to get hot shots of ladies doing their business in a CVS bathroom with his iPhone, only to get busted by the cops.

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Gwen, Flickr
Gwen, Flickr
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Laziest Man Alive Cuts Off Foot To Keep Jobless Benefits

Most people aren’t particularly fond of spending most of their waking moments at work. But we’d challenge you to find a person more work-averse than 56-year old Hans Url of Austria.

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Tim Whitby, Getty Images
Tim Whitby, Getty Images
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Police Officer Claims Girlfriend Attacked Him With Justin Bieber Doll

Justin Bieber dolls (or action figures, if you’re particular about that type of classification) are not just collectible items. They’re dangerous weapons. You don’t need a Glock when a Biebs doll can immobilize your significant other during a domestic dispute.

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Dona Ana County Sheriff / webhostingreview, Flickr
Dona Ana County Sheriff / webhostingreview, Flickr
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Dumb Criminal Pulls ‘Dine and Dash’ In Restaurant Full of Cop Waiters

It’s never a good idea to run up a restaurant tab and then skip out on the bill — and it’s an even worse idea when said eatery is lousy with cops.

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Jeff J Mitchell, Getty
Jeff J Mitchell, Getty
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Teacher Faces Charges for Giving Student a Nipple-Twisting ‘Purple Nurple’

A substitute teacher in the Bronx faces some serious criminal charges for administering some playground justice on one of his pupils.

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NBC
NBC
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Cop Faces Charges After Stealing Food from Work Fridge

At one point or another, we’ve all fallen victim to the theft of food from an office fridge. In general, most of us chalk it up as a minor annoyance. But police in Deer Park, Texas were so fed up with an office thief that they ran a sting to catch him in the act. And, it turns out, the culprit was a cop.

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