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The Future Is Now — Star Trek Phasers Are Real

Emerald Catron — Sat, 18 May 2013 19:12:15 +0000

You know how sometimes you’re walking through Times Square, and it reminds you a little too much of ‘Blade Runner,’ then you get an email on your hand-sized computer/phone, and you have a massive panic attack because THE FUTURE IS NOW?!!!!! This video does not help that feeling. At all. According to Rusty Ward, host [...]

Steak 'N Shake Server Gets a Whopping 7,000% Tip

Emerald Catron — Sat, 18 May 2013 17:24:43 +0000

CeCe Bruce had been working at a Steak n’ Shake in Indiana for two years when she received the tip of a lifetime. After watching Bruce deal with some rude customers, a regular tipped $446 on her $5.96 check — that’s a 7,000 percent tip. The customer, who would rather maintain a low profile, does [...]

Today's Life Winner: The Genius Who Got Stuck in a McDonald's High Chair

Drew Weisholtz — Fri, 17 May 2013 14:00:57 +0000

We like to imagine that the third cop in the foreground has moved behind our stuck friend, because he is laughing too hard at him. Police in Cork, Ireland recently had to be called away from fighting (Irish) crime to help a man who got stuck in a high chair meant for a toddler. As [...]

What American City Was Just Named the 'Laziest'?

Drew Weisholtz — Thu, 16 May 2013 12:55:34 +0000

America is known for its obesity crisis and penchant for lounging on the couch instead of getting up and doing anything physical. As it turns out, some cities perpetuate that stereotype more than others. Men’s Health magazine has finally answered the age old question “What are the laziest cities in the country?” For the sake [...]

Man Breaks Into Supermarket and Eats 57 Cans of Whipped Cream

Drew Weisholtz — Thu, 16 May 2013 03:35:29 +0000

Trevor Runyon took a trip to the grocery store no one will soon forget. Runyon, 30, was arrested for breaking into a supermarket overnight in Mount Washington, Kentucky and enjoying the type of culinary bonanza usually reserved for Russian weddings. The manager of ValuMarket walked into work on Monday morning to find 57 empty whipped [...]

Possibly Drunk High School Umpire Passes Out On Field, Fights Medics, Gets Tased and Arrested

Joe Student — Wed, 15 May 2013 19:44:51 +0000

C’mon, Blue: you’re seeing double out there! An Illinois high school umpire passed out on the field of a game while he was umpiring last Friday. Prior to the nap, spectators say Daryl Jacobson, 49, was “visibly under the influence.” When medics came to assist Jacobson, witnesses say he fought them off to the point [...]

Tasty Cicada Recipes for When the Swarm Strikes This Summer

Emerald Catron — Wed, 15 May 2013 11:22:56 +0000

Listen, don't read this while you're eating. Come back when you've finished though. It's just that reading about parboiling insects might have a negative effect on your appetite. See, the 17-year cicadas have already started to emerge from the ground, and there are going to be billions of them. BILLIONS. So, you may as well eat some, right?

Taco Bell Waffle Tacos Are Coming to Make You Fatter

Jeremy Taylor — Tue, 14 May 2013 16:30:15 +0000

Taco Bell recently changed America’s taco calculus by offering Doritos-flavored shells. Their next move appears to be far more radical. Fast food fans in Southern California are reporting the presence of waffle tacos on the menu at some local Taco Bell franchises. The item, which goes for 89 cents, features a waffle folded around sausage [...]

4-Year-Old Mayor Is the Cutest Politician You Will Ever See

Drew Weisholtz — Tue, 14 May 2013 14:15:35 +0000

Experience isn’t always the most important qualification for a politician. Sometimes dimples work just fine. The mayor of teeny, tiny Dorset, Minnesota (population 22) is a four-year-old boy named Robert “Bobbie” Tufts. We don’t know if his senior advisor is Rubber Duckie or if he pledged naptime for all citizens, but Bobbie won the coveted [...]

Say Hello To Our New Little Friend — 'Scarface' Impersonator Had 6-Hour Standoff With Cops

Jackie Mancini — Thu, 09 May 2013 15:00:35 +0000

Sometimes crazy people have standoffs with cops; it happens. Crazy people in L.A., though? They always want to “do it in character.” At around 10pm on Tuesday evening, cops were called to a Hollywood apartment complex, where they found “Tony Montana” (complete with pimp suit) up on the balcony, waving a machete around and screamin’ [...]

Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Shows Up 10 Years Later, Wants $20

Wes Glinsmann — Mon, 06 May 2013 21:32:43 +0000

Most of us have at least one crazy ex in our pasts, but not many of them randomly show up ten years after the break up, demanding twenty bucks. Unfortunately for a 53-year old man in New Haven, Connecticut, that’s exactly what happened. According to the man (who understandably wants to remain anonymous, lest any [...]

Budwesier's Buddy Cup Lets You Become Facebook Friends With Your Drinking Buddies While You Get Hammered

Drew Weisholtz — Fri, 03 May 2013 16:59:32 +0000

The next time you drink a Bud, you could be making a bud. Budwesier has unveiled a new Buddy Cup, which allows people to become Facebook friends when they touch glasses as they knock back a cold one. The glass, created by Budwesier Brazil, features a built-in chip synched with Facebook. “A computer chip with [...]

$8 Goodwill Video Game Fetches $17K at Auction, Pants Still Only Worth a Nickel

Wes Glinsmann — Wed, 01 May 2013 18:00:12 +0000

If you’re like us, your old Nintendo game cartridges are probably collecting dust in your parent’s attic, or stuffed into a closet somewhere. You might want to go dig them out after you hear about the North Carolina woman who recently sold a rare game for more than $17,000. ‘Stadium Events’ is known to enthusiasts [...]

World's Biggest Sucker Loses Life Savings on Carnival Game

Emerald Catron — Wed, 01 May 2013 16:32:30 +0000

We feel kind of bad that Henry Gribbohm lost his life savings, totaling $2,600, on a carnival game, but at the same time…COME ON, DUDE! Gribbohm was at the carnival in Manchester, New Hampshire, trying to win a Xbox Kinect by playing a game called Tubs of Fun. After throwing away $300 on the game [...]

Taco Bell Doritos Locos Tacos Cause High School Lockdown

Jeremy Taylor — Wed, 01 May 2013 15:11:12 +0000

If you spend a lot of time with high school students you should be pretty well acquainted with Taco Bell. Which is why it’s surprising that the delicious fast food was able to cause so much confusion at Del Campo High School in Sacramento, California. Turns out somebody had left a big bag of Doritos Locos [...]

High School Baseball Team Trapped 11 Rattlesnakes On Field Since August

Joe Student — Sun, 21 Apr 2013 15:56:46 +0000

The baseball team at Valencia (Ca.) West Ranch High School is very aware of all the potential dangers on a baseball field: errant cleats, bean balls and, you know, rattlesnakes. Since August 11, the team has dealt with 11 rattlesnakes on its home field. Incident records show the school had only 17 rattlesnake disturbances in [...]

Dogs in Pantyhose Are a Thing Now — Wait, What??

Emerald Catron — Tue, 09 Apr 2013 21:55:14 +0000

Well, the dogs don't seem particularly unhappy, so we guess this is okay. As long as dogs don't understand what dignity is, they'll probably be fine.

Owners in China have been stuffing their dogs into stocking and high heels, taking pictures of them, and putting them on the internet, because this is the world we live in now. Since you know you secretly want to see more of these, here you go:

Man Buys Poodles, Discovers They're Actually Ferrets on Steroids

Emerald Catron — Mon, 08 Apr 2013 20:40:40 +0000

This is not a joke. A man at the largest outdoor bazaar in Buenos Aires bought two toy poodles from a vendor for $150 each. Only he didn't actually buy two poodles. He actually bought two ferrets that were hopped up on steroids and given fancy hairdos so they would look like poodles.

Watch Kids in China Endure the Most Intense Walk to School Ever

Drew Weisholtz — Wed, 03 Apr 2013 20:40:10 +0000

Think you’ve got a rough commute? A 14-year-old boy and his younger sister in China endure a trip to school every day that’s just a wee bit more involved than waiting at the bus stop. Yi Qiyun and his sis have to go to a school 21 miles away from their home, so they must [...]

Woman Arrested For April Fool's Day Robbery Prank

Jeremy Taylor — Wed, 03 Apr 2013 13:23:23 +0000

It’s becoming harder and harder to pull a good April Fool’s Day prank. We blame the internet for this, as not long after you log on you are reminded of the tricky nature of April 1 and thus put your guard up. One way to circumvent the new always-in-your-face April Fool’s reality is pull the [...]