My Dearest Smelly Co-Worker:

I am writing this to you with great regret. I think you are a great person. You are funny and great at your job. But on behalf of the ENTIRE office, we need to have a talk.

This stench that emanates from your office is tough enough to deal with. Yes, we understand that you thoroughly enjoy your onions, garlic and peanut butter. And taking out your trash for you on a daily basis so that we can walk by your office is really worth the effort.

We were hoping by eliminating the smell in your office we would be able to decrease the necessary ten foot radius required to be near you. We have been convinced that you love Mexican food because that smell permeates from your body. We recently found out that you don’t eat Mexican food.

After much thought we have come to the conclusion that this is your natural aroma. Please, for the sake of the office and for the sake of my love of Mexican food, please start showering daily. Using deodorant is not the same thing as taking a shower. Just because you can’t smell it doesn’t mean the rest of us aren’t suffering.

Your Rose Smelling Co-worker,