How Moms Keep It Together
My kids are always saying funny things. If you are my friend on Facebook, I’m sure you’ve seen me quoting them from time to time.
The idea for this blog comes from my 5 year old son. He is my rambunctious child. He’s all boy and he’s constantly on the go and trying to entertain himself (yes, sometimes at the cost of others). On the other hand, he is funny and loving and REALLY sensitive underneath that tough boyish exterior.
One day he asked me if being a mom is hard. I told him that it sometimes is hard to be a mom. He said, “I sure am glad I’m not a mom!” After he said that, I felt kind of bad. Do I make it look like it’s really hard? I must seem like a crazy woman to him, always running around. I started wondering if other mothers feel the same way. A lot of the moms I know always look so put together and like they have this whole parenting thing down pat. They don’t appear to be struggling or frazzled or any of the things I have felt!
I decided the best way to find out was to ask. According to Becki, a mom of 3, she doesn’t feel like she has it all together but the key to making it appear that way is flexibility. “Things with my family are always changing so I have learned that I don't have to have it together to get it done. I think that the more flexible you are the more it looks like you've got it going on.”
Mom of 2, Holly, thinks she has it together for the most part due to having a schedule. “I think it helps to have a schedule, but even those get messed up on occasion.” She says it’s important not to stress when things are off schedule and that it really helps to have your children learn responsibility.
Amy, mom to 1, says she has days when she feels like she has it all together and days that she doesn’t! She also echoes the importance of a schedule and the way that we cope with a change in plans. “I like the quote ‘Life is not the way it's supposed to be, it's the way it is. The way we cope with it is what makes the difference.’”
Kelly, mom to 1, says that she does feel like she has it all together and when she doesn’t, she thinks a positive attitude is the way to go.” I just try not to get overwhelmed by the little things and keep in mind the important things in life, like my family. Life is not easy and when you make things seem more than they are it just makes things more difficult.”
Helen, mom to 2, says her kids always remind her when she isn’t keeping it all together, “I sometimes feel like I have it all together but then my kids remind me of something that I didn't do, so my bubble bursts!” She likes having a schedule, too, but says balancing work and family can be a struggle.
Tanya, mom to 2, says that she thought when she quit working, she would finally have the chance to ‘get it all together’. “The reality is that I still feel like I'm barely keeping my head above water. There are days when I’m constantly on the go but the greater reward is that I have more time to spend with my kids.”
I think Jen, mom to 3, put it best when she said, “I think moms put on a facade that makes it seem as though we have it all together.” Reality is a different story, “In truth, most of the time, I feel like I can't catch my breath because there is always so much to do.”
So here’s my confession. I don’t have it all together. If you were stop by my house, I can almost guarantee it would be a mess. There would probably be laundry on the couch and toothpaste in the sink. You’d probably find crumbs on the floor and smudges on the cabinets. There are a hundred things I probably should have taken care of but forgot about. I feel like it’s okay though.
The most important thing about being a mom is loving your children and making them feel cherished. It’s kind of like that quote, “We may not have it all together but together, we have it all.” That’s exactly how I feel. I rarely have it ALL together but being a mom and having the love of my kids makes me feel like I do in fact, have it all.