5 Reasons Not to Let a Friend Crash on Your Couch
Times are tough, folks. If our landlord suddenly decided to raise our rent or our student loans become unrelentingly high, we can only hope that our family and friends would swoop in to save the day; kind of like when we were children. Sadly, those days are long gone; but what about when we aren’t the ones in that position?
It’s a pickle; we get it. The yearning to be a good friend often trumps logical considerations like where the hell is he going to sleep, or how long will this arrangement last? While allowing a friend to crash on your couch is the ultimate act of friend-mercy – not to mention karmically pleasing for you – there are definitely some downsides to consider before saying yes. Below are just a few of the many reasons why you should not let a friend crash on your couch. Before you send that ‘yes’ text, you should probably give it a read.
The Living Room Stench
Let’s face it; this guy will be living in your living room. It’s where he’s keeping all of his clothes – both clean and dirty – it’s where his bed is, his TV dinner table and every other part of his existence. If you’ve ever been in one small location for a long amount of time you know stenches tend to arise, usually putrid ones. And when those smells aren’t the types you’re used to – and aren’t too fond of – things can get real ugly, real fast.
Those Lonely, Dirty Pieces of Clothing Caught Between Your Cushions
Most guys are disgusting; it’s as simple as that. Many of us are slobs who treat our own bedrooms as caves filled with lost articles of clothing, mainly dirty ones, and we aren’t fantastic at cleaning up after ourselves. When a guy’s bed is your couch, you can sure as hell expect to find some nasty, possibly skid-marked undergarments between the cushions.
The Battle of the Remote Control
Again, it’s their bedroom, which means they have the first grab at the remote control because it’s only an arms-length away. It sucks, and if they had a decent bone in their body they’d offer it up (seriously, you are giving them a place to live), but most guys aren’t decent. So when we’re watching the game and your girlfriend is missing her show, who’s she getting angry at? Him, yes. But also, you.
You Might Just Catch Them… You Know
This is perhaps the worst thing that can happen when letting a friend crash on your couch, and definitely the most awkward. As guys, we’re are well aware that self-pleasuring is pretty much a necessary part of the maintenance of everyday living and being happy. When someone decides to be happy on your couch, though, that’s just disgusting – especially if you catch them.
He’ll Never Want To Leave
If you’re making the guy feel right at home and your place is better than any other option, why would he leave? Yes, your girlfriend is going crazy with him there. Yes, it’s hindering your sex life — he’s well aware of that. But you’ve got cable! A month ago he couldn’t afford anything other than rice and beans, and now the guy has access to 500 channels and home-cooked meals every night. You’re screwed.