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Thanksgiving Virgin

Uh oh. What have I gotten myself into? For many reasons I have volunteered myself as “Thanksgiving Director”. What exactly does this mean? I’m not sure but I’m setting the table, mashing the potatoes, caserolling the green beans and most importantly gutting the turkey. The latter of which I’m most worried about. Really? I have to stick my hand where?
As a virgin to the hosting of the Thanksgiving I’m a little nervous. Will I do it right? Will everyone leave with satisfaction? Do I really have to violate a turkey? What if I take too long? What if I burn the turkey or my potatoes have lumps or my stuffing doesn’t taste like mom’s? Well I guess the way I see that is it’s my first time. If you don’t enjoy it then don’t go back for seconds. And if you feel the need to whine I’m going to shove you out the door without any wine.
Most of those who know me know that I don’t cook on a regular basis. I’m not married and have no children. And I’m not exactly rolling in dough thanks to my dear old friend Sallie Mae who gladly takes my money every month. So cooking for one can be expensive, especially if you have only two out of the seven required spices for the recipe. And cooking for one can be somewhat boring and lonely. So to say the least I’m not the most experienced in the kitchen. Especially when it comes to holiday dinners. I’m used to being one of those who casually goes into the kitchen to refill the wine and grab a delicious taste of the stuffing while going on my merry way. And knowing that it’s totally worth the beating I would receive with the wooden spoon. Well it looks like this year I’m going to be the one armed with the wooden spoon. I’m sure I will be finding a new appreciation for the work, time and planning that goes into all this. I’ll be introducing a new phrase into my vocabulary: “Get out of the kitchen!” Thankfully my mother has trained my father to not only be a master of but he actually enjoys doing the dishes. So I may be cooking but at least I don’t have to clean up.
So if any of you out there have any tips for this thanksgiving for this thanksgiving virgin…all will be welcomed. I’ll gladly accept any suggestions from table decorations to cooking instructions or tips on dealing with unruly family members. And hopefully all that come to eat will leave with a full belly, a fond memory and a sense of humor for my first attempt at a thanksgiving dinner

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