In today’s society women like to think that the world is at our fingertips and that we can have it all. But the harsh reality is we can’t. As Diane Sawyers put it “You can have it all. You just can’t have it all at once.” Expectations are still placed on the woman in the relationship to cook, clean, and take care of the kiddos. A career is totally acceptable but don’t you dare make more than your husband. But you CAN have that career once dinner is on the table, the dishes put away and the kids are on the school bus. And if you haven’t started the raising of a family by age 25, it seems as though many folks look at you as if there is something wrong with you. I myself have been given a double take…not just because I look fabulous in my jeans but because someone hears that I’m approaching 30 and have no husband or children. Sometimes I think it takes everything they have not to inquire “Well what’s wrong with you?” which in return I would be tempted to ask “Well I may not have had any weddings…but how many divorces have you had?” It’s not to say that everyone who gets married before 30 is going to get divorced or if you have children before 30 means that your life is over. But at the same time, don’t the singles out there deserve a little respect for going after what they want…even if it doesn’t include starting a family before they are ready? Sure, the single mother working two jobs deserves a bus load of respect. But so do those out there paying giving half their earnings to Sallie Mae, the other half to bills and working hard as hell to leave their mark in this world.

Victoria tends to be a little old fashioned…I know that I am not the only one out there who is single…and 100% ok with it. So for those who want to give those of us who are 30 and single that look of “Ohhhh you’ll find someone someday” here are FIVE REASONS WHY ITS FABULOUS TO BE 30 AND SINGLE:

5. SPONTANEITY You can do what you want, when you want, with who you want. There is no spouse that has to be taken into consideration. No one has to be put to bed. If going for happy hour cocktails sounds more appealing than grocery shopping-do it. Las minute weekend trip with friends-go for it. Sleeping til noon-why not? Job offer in Costa Rica-take it! At the drop of your hat you can change your mind, your plans and your future.

4. EAT WHAT YOU WANT Ice cream for dinner? Sounds great. Left overs for breakfast? I don’t see why not. It’s not that I’m a fatty and refuse to eat healthy or “normal” foods at the “normal” time of day. But if I’m in a hurry or chose happy hour cocktails over the grocery store last night, no one is going to go hungry because I didn’t get their favorite cereal or wanted and extra 30 minutes of sleep. And by all means I don’t have to wake up extra early to make anyone breakfast. If I want to sleep in I can pick up something up on my way to work…or cross my fingers that a co-worker will be picking up breakfast tacos.

3. THE BATHROOM IS MINE ALL MINE! That’s right. I said it! Toilet seat is down. Toilet paper is available. No gross man hair in the sink. Wet towels on the floor are nonexistent. No one is complaining that my makeup, hair spray and other female toiletries men refuse to admit exist take up the majority of the counter/cabinet space (depending on your bathroom setup). Guys really don’t seem to realize how many things it takes to be girl: curling/flat iron, blow dryer, make up, hair products, feminine products, etc. We don’t wake up looking this fabulous. It takes time and money…which will lead me to Reason #2…

2. SHOES SHOES SHOES As a single woman without a family to provide for…what can I spend my spare money on (well any money that is left over after bills and that evil woman Sallie Mae)? SHOES! I don’t have to buy diapers, school uniforms, anniversary presents, Christmas presents from “Santa”, Father’s Day gifts, impressive gifts for in-laws (IN-LAWS…that could be top reason in itself but I’ll just put it out there that I’m glad I don’t have any instead). I don’t have to feel guilty for more than just browsing on-line for those heels I know are going to hurt my feet. After a bad date…shoes are the best way to “heel” a broken hearts.

  1. 1. NOT DIVORCED As I mentioned earlier, I am not saying that getting married before you turn 30 means you are going to get divorced. But so far, I’m not a statistic. And the longer I wait to settle down the greater the chances that I won’t get divorced (which means money I don’t have spend on an attorney-hence more shoes that I can buy). Statistics these days show that waiting to get married until you are 30 or older doubles your chances of staying married, according to the book The Last One Down the Aisle Wins . Now that’s what I’m talking about. I would rather romp through this world learning who I am, what I want and what I am truly capable of alone than to settle just to avoid loneliness. I’ll take my chances finding myself for the time being than take a chance with the wrong person…and a possible pending divorce.

Now I’m not trying to man hate here. Who doesn’t want to love and be loved? I’ll even let you know that I myself am in a loving committed relationship with a wonderful man. We are taking the time to learn each other and ourselves. Marriage someday? Maybe. Divorce, hopefully not. But until then I’m going to enjoy my freedom, bathroom and shoes!