Chris Illuminati

Kellie Pickler’s hair is gone y’all! Rootin tootin! Lord have mercy! Ain’t that a stitch! Whatever else southern folk would say when something crazy happens. Good god and Honey Boo Boo! We know that’s a real saying.

Long before the internet, and way before the cell phone hack phenomena, magazines were one of the only ways to see famous, gorgeous in very little clothing.

Welcome to Dad’s Secret Stash, where we take a look back at some of the naughty pictures our fathers probably had stashed away in their sock drawer. This photo, snapped on June 16, 1975, shows office girls stripping down to their underwear during lunch to sunbathe in St. Jame’s Park.

There’s drunk, really drunk and so drunk you think you’re licensed to perform dentistry. A Port St. Lucie, Florida man was so liquored up he attempted to pull his own tooth, forcing his wife to call the cops to get him to stop.

An obsessed Jessica Simpson fan has taken his love for the star to novel heights. Marce William Burchell who, after allegedly stalking Simpson for years, decided to pen and self-publish a book about the object of his affection. The best part? The book’s insane title: ‘The True Story of Jessica Ann Simpson’s 22 month long attempt to seduce a married man- her very Active Super Secret Sex life: True

According to The Hollywood Reporter, Maverick, Goose and the rest of the ‘fly boys’ will land back in movie theaters in 2012 when ‘Top Gun’ is re-released in 3D.

Normally a lawsuit involving a fast food chain and a patron has something to do with the food. In the case of Martin Kessman versus White Castle the main complaint by Mr. Kessman is that the restaurant’s booths aren’t big enough. Online Dish explains how his local White Castle repeatedly broke promises to make the booths at his local franchise bigger.

It’s impossible to not find kittens super adorable. Even alpacas are impervious to their cuteness. This alpaca wants to show its affection for this little bundle of fur by nudging it around with its nose and possibly asking it out on a date.

Do you know the way to San Jose? No seriously, do you, because there is free weed on the street but it’s not going to last very long. The Mercury News explains that a truck, illegally carrying marijuana, crashed and ended up on its side sending large bags of pot throughout the intersection. The driver hightailed it out of sight and that’s when the real fun started.

Who says you can’t go home? Not Stifler, his mom, Jim, Finch, Oz, Jim’s dad and the rest of the ‘American Pie’ crew, who are back for ‘American Reunion,’ supposedly the final film in the ‘Pie’ franchise after three theatrical releases and four direct-to-DVD spinoffs. The film’s first teaser trailer dropped today and it doesn’t reveal much — just a collection of photobooth shots of the gang reunit

Maybe quality time with the kids isn’t always a positive thing: AM NY reports that one father that not only made his infant daughter an accomplice to a drug deal but used her stroller to transport heroin and firearms.