The first part of Bobby Brown‘s interview with Matt Lauer on TODAY aired this morning (May 2), with Brown declaring the depths of his love for the late, great Whitney Houston.

It was Brown’s first interview since his ex-wife died in February and he made a proclamation: “I can honestly say that I loved that woman with everything that I am and I believed she loved me the same way… I still love her today.”

Brown, dressed in a pink sweater and black glasses, cleaning up nice; it was a stark contrast to the bad boy image that has caused fans and the media to accuse him of causing Houston’s downfall and descent into drug abuse. He declared, “I had 14 beautiful, beautiful years with that woman,” and denied that his statements were revisionist history.

The singer said that New Edition bandmate Ralph Tresvant revealed the news of Houston’s passing to him, at which he immediately hopped on the phone to call daughter Bobbi Kristina. “Someone else answered, told me Whitney was gone,” Brown recalled. “I just started crying. You never expect someone close to you to just … die.”

Brown also said that he thought Houston’s drug struggles were behind her. “She was doing wonderful,” he said. “Everything about her was going on the upward … It’s a hard fight to maintain sobriety.” When asked if there was anything he could have done to save his ex-wife, he said, “I still say that today. Maybe I could have done something different to make sure she had a longer life …  Some things just happen.”

About the accusations that her life went downhill because of him, he admitted, “It makes me feel terrible, but I know differently.”

He did reveal that the train wreck reality show ‘Being Bobby Brown’ was an eye opener for both of them, regarding their marriage and their drug use. “The reality show demonstrated that the drug abuse affected the relationship and love we felt for each other,” he said.

Brown also stated, in a quote that was revealed earlier this week in preview, that “I didn’t get high before I met Whitney, on narcotics. I smoked weed. I drank beer. It was a part of her life way before.” His statement is now clarified, since smoking weed is getting high.

Brown did admit to having “an addictive personality” which he deemed “unexplainable” and he was calmly firm when he said, “I wasn’t the one who go her addicted. I am not the reason she is gone.”

The second half of the interview airs tomorrow (May 3).

Watch Part 1 of Bobby Brown’s Interview on TODAY

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