New Year's Eve bashes can be pretty predictable: glittery paper hats, feathered boas, plastic champagne flutes, an off-key group rendition of 'Auld Lang Syne' or Abba's 'Happy New Year.' And, of course, blacking out and forgetting everything that just happened.
This time around, why not ring in the new year with some truly awesome party accessories? The following handicrafts from the creatively warped minds at Etsy will surely make this year's blowout the most memorable yet.
You know that chick you always run into at New Year's Eve parties who, like, loves bragging about how she can drink everybody else under the table and always has a story about how TOTALLY SMASHED she got last New Year's Eve, but then gets all defensive when you ask her to prove it? Here's what she'll be wearing at this year's New Year's Eve party.
Glow-in-the-dark false eyelashes
Help your drunk date find your face in a darkened bar when it's time for him to deliver your midnight smackeroo. In case of a really sloshed date, consider also investing in a glow-in-the-dark toilet seat as an easy vomit target.
'2011 fail' New Year's greeting card
“Life sucks and then it's 2012″ is the basic sentiment of this holiday greeting. Perfect to send to your annoying coworkers or Facebook acquaintances you really should get around to deleting in the new year.
Why bother going to see the ball drop when you can be the ball drop? Although please don't take that too literally. Keep your clothes on, for the love of Baby New Year.
Partying fetus belly-shirt decal
Iron this graphic onto your favorite maternity wear and enter yourself in the running as an early candidate for Mother of the Year 2012.
Gives “beer goggles” a whole new, way too literal meaning. Perfect not only for New Year's Eve, but also Mardi Gras and “National Slice Your Eyeballs Open on an Aluminum Shiv Day,” a holiday we just made up. Guaranteed to start a catfight with the chick wearing the PBR beer can skirt.
Old-timey New Year's Eve tab tea towel
Four score and several fortnights ago — according to this vintage restaurant receipt, dated 12/31, that's been reprinted onto a towel — it seemeth that an alcoholic libation once costeth a mere 20-cent piece, while oysters were priced at scant over two bits. Jolly good, pip pip! Shall we settle up our bill so that we mayeth head over to the traditional New Year's Eve ether frolic at Teddy Roosevelt's house?
Hang this depressing wreath made of deflated (or never-flated, whatever) balloons on your door, and arriving guests will think the party's over before it even gets started. Remember when Dwight and Jim threw that awful birthday party
for Kelly on 'The Office,' complete with lame 'It is your birthday' banner? This wreath reminds us of that party.
It's not fair, if you think about it: Christmas has mistletoe for enforcing mandatory makeouts, but what about New Year's Eve, a holiday where a midnight kiss can be the make-or-break moment of the night? We recommend buying two of these posters and fashioning yourself a sandwich board that you can wear on your body to make sure people get the message loud and clear.
So you had a baby in 2011. Does that mean you're no longer entitled to get your late-night party on? That kid's gonna have to learn soon enough that Mommy and Daddy's drinky-time comes first.