Lady Gaga is known for putting her paws and her claws up, sporting sharpened-to-a-dagger-like-point manis. Pointy nails are the new square, and all the cool gals (Rihanna, Beyonce, Lana) are doing it, but few do it like Mother Monster.

In her V magazine column this month, Gaga offers fabulous tips and breaks down the importance of having a manicure, which includes feeling beautiful and clean and preparing you to, um, get busy. That’s not how she said it, but we’re PG-13 here!

Gaga rocks five different mani styles on one hand in the image, explaining why she likes each look. We’ll go from left to right, from pinky to thumb.

The pink sparkle pinky is “trash elegance” and the “Born This Way nail.” She wears it during tour and it’s meant to invoke an alien.

The bejeweled blinger (on her ring finger) is the “glamorous” style, and it’s not for every woman, thanks to the size of the jewels and aurora borealis effect.

The middle finger is a neutral beige and considered “clean.” It’s the mani for all seasons and situations. The pointy tip adds personality, while it’s perf for partying, sex or dinner. It’s not lost on us that the middle finger gets the muted mani, since you can say so much more with the gesture than you can with polish color!

The pointer finger is the “art” mani, since it’s red leather with some porous texture. It’s likely pricy, despite being simple.

Her thumb nail is “sexy” since it’s glossy, black and blinged out. She puts lovers’ initials in the jewels. So this one has TK, yes?

Who needs a corner store (and boring) French manicure when you can have all this? Would you try any of these looks, PopCrushers? If you do, be careful. You could scratch a cornea with those things, especially if you wear contact lenses.

Watch the Lady Gaga ‘Edge of Glory’ Video

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